POEM FOR COMPUTER USERS

A computer was something on TV
From a science-fiction show of note
A window was something you hated to clean
And ram was the cousin of a goat.

Meg was the name of my girlfriend
And gig was a job for the nights
Now they all mean different things
And that really mega bytes.

An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano.

Log on was adding wood to the fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
and backup happened to your commode.

Cut you did with a pocket knife
And paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was a flu.

I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead.

Rule of Order

1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
3. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
4. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing him again.
6. I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
7. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
8. My reality check bounced.
9. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
10. I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
11. You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
12. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
13. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
14. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
15. A pat on the back is only a few centimetres from a kick in the butt.
16. Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
17. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
18. If you settle, you will never know excellence.
19. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
20. Instead of Monday, the official week should have Tuesday twice.
21. People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
22. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
23. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
24. Reading the directions is best - after 2 hours of creative engineering on your own
25. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"

PERCEPTIONS
Perceptions vary from person to person. Different people perceive different things about the same situation. But more than that, we assign different meanings to what we perceive. And the meanings might change for a certain person. One might change one's perspective or simply make things mean something else.

This is a famous picture. What does it look like to you?

Some people see a young lady looking away. Others see an old lady looking down. Depending on how you look at it, part of the picture might be the young woman's nose and eyelash, or it might be a wart on the old woman's nose. What is the young woman's ear might be the old woman's eye. What is the young woman's necklace might be the old woman's mouth. The picture hasn't really changed. You just emphasize different parts of it and assign them different meaning.

Verdict of a trollWhat Is A Troll ? The term derives from "trolling", a style of fishing which involves trailing bait through a likely spot hoping for a bite. The troll posts a message, often in response to an honest question, that is intended to upset, disrupt or simply insult the group.

Usually, it will fail, as the troll rarely bothers to match the tone or style of the group, and usually its ignorance shows.

Why do trolls do it ?
I believe that most trolls are sad people, living their lonely lives vicariously through those they see as strong and successful.

Disrupting a stable newsgroup gives the illusion of power, just as for a few, stalking a strong person allows them to think they are strong, too.

For trolls, any response is 'recognition'; they are unable to distinguish between irritation and admiration; their ego grows directly in proportion to the response, regardless of the form or content of that response.

Trolls, rather surprisingly, dispute this, claiming that it's a game or joke; this merely confirms the diagnosis; how sad do you have to be to find such mind-numbingly trivial timewasting to be funny ?

Remember that trolls are cowards; they'll usually post just enough to get an argument going, then sit back and count the responses (Yes, that's what they do!).


How can troll posts be recognised ?
No Imagination - Most are frighteningly obvious; sexist comments on nurses' groups, blasphemy on religious groups .. I kid you not.
Pedantic in the Extreme - Many trolls' preparation is so thorough, that while they waste time, they appear so ludicrous from the start that they elicit sympathetic mail - the danger is that once the group takes sides, the damage is done.
False Identity - Because they are cowards, trolls virtually never write over their own name, and often reveal their trolliness (and lack of imagination) in the chosen ID. As so many folk these days use false ID, this is not a strong indicator on its own !
Crossposting - Any post that is crossposted to several groups should be viewed as suspicious, particularly if unrelated or of opposing perspective. Why would someone do that ?
Off-topic posting - Often genuine errors, but, if from an 'outsider' they deserve matter-of-fact response; if genuine, a brief apposite response is simply netiquette; if it's a troll post, you have denied it its reward.
Repetition of a question or statement is either a troll - or a pedant; either way, treatment as a troll is effective.
Missing The Point - Trolls rarely answer a direct question - they cannot, if asked to justify their twaddle - so they develop a fine line in missing the point.
Thick or Sad - Trolls are usually sad, lonely folk, with few social skills; they rarely make what most people would consider intelligent conversation. However, they frequently have an obsession with their IQ and feel the need to tell everyone. This is so frequent, that it is diagnostic ! Somewhere on the web there must be an Intelligence Test for Trolls - rigged to always say "above 150"

Posted by SBU74 on Oboma
Tribute to mothers
baby asked God, 'They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but
how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?'
God said, 'Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you.'

The child further inquired. 'But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do
anything but sing and smile to be happy.'
God said, 'Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you
will feel your angel's love and be very happy.'

Again the child asked, 'And how am I going to be able to understand when
people talk to me if I don't know the language?'
God said, 'Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you
will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you
how to speak.'

And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?'
God said, 'Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how
to pray.'

Who will protect me?'
God said, 'Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.'

'But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.'
God said, 'Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you
the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you.'
At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could
be heard and the child hurriedly asked, 'God, if I am to leave now, please
tell me my angel's name.'
God said, 'You will simply call her, 'Mommy.'

Cracked Pots
An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.
At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.
After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."
The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them." "For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."
Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very rich, interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for who and what they are and look for the good in them and the beauty and love they bring into your life.
To all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers, on your side of the path.